Finally in Her Crib

She has finally moved into her crib - and I think she loves it! We also have her in a pack 'n play while she is downstairs, so I think she is finally more comfortable in an open area for sleeping. We will have to put the cradle and basinet away soon.

And, last night, I can safely say she slept through the night - went to sleep about 10:30 pm and woke up at 6:15am. Let's hope she is setting a new trend.

Today at Parenting Preemies, we learned how to give our babies massages. Scarlet absolutely loved her legs and feet being rubbed, but not her tummy. She has been having an upset tummy lately, but I think it was because we needed to get her medicine refilled. We did today, and for the first time in a few days, she ate without spitting up. Yea!

Next week is the last week for Parenting Preemies, so I will be sad to see it go. However, they will start up again in January and we are welcome to visit any time we are able. I surely will!

I'm thinking about bringing her into my work soon. We shall see how that goes.

Photo Shoot in the Doctor's Office

Scarlet Has Reached My Birthweight

OUCH! All I have to say is - Sorry Mom, that had to hurt!!!

Lindsay's Baby Shower

My friend Lindsay is having her baby in the next few weeks. This is her second baby - both girls. She is very excited and we are excited for her.

Stef - if you are reading this - you were missed. It was strange for me to see your friends without seeing you. Mindy and I remembered you. Love ya, Sis!

Happy Birthday, Uncle Benj!

We went out Friday night to Chili's to celebrate my brother's birthday. Scarlet wanted a margarita, but we told her no. She also wantd to try the salsa, but again, Mom said no.
Benje's planning on moving to Florida next month, so Scarlet will have all of her aunts, uncles, and cousins out of state. Honestly, it makes me very sad, but I understand why he's going. I wish him the best of luck!

Dad just can't get enough of Scarlet.

My parents got Benje a shadw box to display his medals from the army: the purple heart and a commendation for courage under fire.

Hi Daddy!

This week, Scarlet and I surprised Daddy with a visit to his work, Cal Poly Pomona. My mom was actually on campus at a conference and the two of them were having lunch together. Scarlet and I snuck up and surprised them both. Then Len and I had to "carry" the stroller with Scarlet in it down Kellogg Hill to get back to the Library. It was a beautiful walk - which I am sure she will appreciate when she is older (and so will we when we don't have to lift the stroller down the stairs).

School Time

Our little student is progressing in school. I still can't believe that this service is available to her. She is learning to push herself up, getting closer to rolling over without a ramp, and...

holding things. She actually had a rattle in her left hand and was shaking it. She also hit her head with it, which her teacher said all babies do.

9lbs 5 oz and still growing...

Scarlet weighed in last week at 9lbs, 5oz... She has almost tripled her weight and she is aproaching my birth weight: 9lbs 14oz. Ouch!

Scarlet's little friend, Shea Rose, was born this week on October 23. Her mom is a very good friend of mine. She was also born prematurely. Tina, my friend, was 31 weeks along when her water broke. They were able to keep her on bed rest in the hospital until week 32 when she had a c-section. Shea Rose weighs 4lbs, 8oz and is breathing on her own! However, just like Scarlet, she is planning on staying in NICU for about 6 weeks-2 months. I went and visited them on Thursday. All are doing well and I was able to pass along information and clothes - very stranges to me that Scarlet has actually grown out of clothes!

My heart and prayers are with Tina, Dan, and Shea.

8lbs 11oz!

I am sure she will hit 9lbs by the weekend. She is in a growth spurt right now - eating 5-6 ounces at each feeding! She has also been sleeping more at night these last few weeks, and lately more during the day. They say preemies go through twice as many growth spurts than full term babies, making it difficult to get on any kind of schedule. Oh well!

Here is Scarlet with Ragedy Ann:

And here is Scarlet's favorite song:

Scarlet Can Roll Over!

Scarlet is enrolled in school. Literally, she is enrolled in the San Bernardino County School District. She has a Special Education credentialed teacher who comes out once a week (or her assistant) for an hour and works with Scarlet to catch her up developmentally. She will stay with this program until she is caught up - or until she is 3 years old! Unbelievable! Scarlet just couldn't wait to get started on life, so we enrolled her in school. Of course, she has two teachers for parents.

The day after her first day (Registration Day), she actaully rolled over - first one way and then the other. She doesn't like it, so you can hear her complaining - but she can do it!

We reward her with flying through the air and singing - that she does like. It is so great to see her developing and responding so quickly already. This was three weeks ago - and already she is tracking things with her eyes and starting to discover her hands by grabbing and touching things. What a miracle and a blessing school is!

Happy Birthday, Cousin Haley!

This was the first time Scarlet met her cousins - and since they have moved to Georgia, it will be a while before they are all together again. However, here are the brothers with their children:


Here's Scarlet and her Daddy:
And Haley holding Scarlet - wow!

It's Been Awhile...

but I'm back. I haven't been on the computer in a while - updated my blog, checked my email, checked my school email in over a month. Why?

Well, several reasons - When I look at the last post, I realize that probably sums it up - stress. After all, watching your baby turn blue, being told to call 911, riding in an ambulance, and then being told it is simply because I am a new mom - well, it was not something I wish to go through again.

My recent stresses - and reasons for not updating:
1. Honestly - my postpartum depression took a turn for the worse and I am trying to lift myself back up again.
2. Len went back to work. This in some ways was a good thing - a little bit more normal life for both of us. He was home with Scarlet and I for about 5-6 weeks. With him back, he's on more of a schedule and I have more of my summer back - that I lost out on - so I am watching the entire show of Alias, reading, and most of all taking care of Scarlet. When he went back to work, my work somehow calmed down, but doubled.
3. Company - As another attempt at getting back to normal life, we have had people over for dinner. We have really enjoyed the company and look forward to seeing more people.
4. Len's brother and sister-in-law - who is a very dear friend of mine - moved to Georgia with their three kids this week. We have been saying goodbye to them - and I have been having a really hard time letting go. I am sad to see them go, but realize that we will still continue to stay in touch across the miles.
5. I am just really busy. Tuesdays is Parenting Preemies, Wednesdays Scarlet is in school (see above), Thursday is PPD group and breast feeding clinic (yup, still pumping and breastfeeding with a nipple shield. I tell ya, that is extrememly hard, but I know it is the best for her and I am determined not to give up!), and randomly I have other appointments and people to see...

Here is our most recent family photo:

I'm OK Now Grandma!

When I was in my twenties, I started calling my mom after scary episodes (spraigning my ankle in Israel and going to the hospital for one). I would start the conversation off with, "I'm ok now, Mom." This has always stressed my mom out, for some reason.

On Wednesday, I had to call my mom yet again. This time I said, "I'm ok now, Grandma," on Scarlet's behalf - since it was her with the scary episode.

At about 4:00pm, Wednesday afternoon, I was home alone with Scarlet. (Len was on his way home from work - he is still on paternity leave, but goes in once a week.) I had just finished feeding her when I noticed that her hands and feet started turning blue. Yes, BLUE! I didn't want to panic, especially since she was happy, cooing, alert, and didn't seem the least bit stressed. So I looked it up in the Kaiser health book - thinking some sort of strange rash. There was a web like design of blue and white going up her arms and legs. I didn't look at the book for very long at all, since I saw it was getting worse. So, I called the Kaiser advice line on one phone and Len on the other. They put me on hold, and he was in the driveway.

When he came in, I showed him her now purple feet and fingers and blue legs and arms. I asked him if he saw what I saw - he did - and we proceeded to pack her up, while still on hold. Kaiser finally answered - once we had her in the car seat. I explained the situation and they told me to immediately call 911. As panic stricken as I was inside, I remained calm and did what they told me to do.

After dialing 911, the ambulance was there in minutes and Scarlet Rose was back to her rosy color. Isn't that just like kids? They play tricks on you when you are alone - and are on their best behavior in front of others. They checked her stats - she was completely fine. They suggested taking her into the hospital to be safe. So, I got to ride in the ambulance with my one week (corrected age) old daughter. I tell you, that is an experience I never wanted and I will never forget. But, still, I remained calm.

During the ride, Scarlet was fine, smiling and cooing even. She eventually fell asleep. So, I struck up a conversation with the paramedic. I asked about his job - and we eventaully got to talking about how they pick up alot of new moms concerned about their babies. They call it "New Mom Syndrome." He even gave me the example of moms panicing over their babies having seisures and calling 911. I thought blue babies and seizure babies were cause for 911 concern. Maybe I am wrong.

When we got to the hospital, he told the admitting nurse what had happened, all her stats, and everything. I also heard him say, "It's NMS," to which she nodded with an "Ah." Nevertheless, we were seen by a doctor and then a pediatrician. The pediatrician said that it is normal for babies to turn blue in their extremities - we only worry about it if their face, mouth, or torso turns blue. Um, ok. He told us to follow up the next day with her pedicatrician.

Shell shocked, we went home and did just that. Her pediatrician said the same thing. He diagnosed it as acrocyanosis. He said not to worry about it - babies sometimes have poor circulation and can turn blue. Hm. He also said to be concerned if her mouth, face, or torso turns blue. Ok.

I had my mom look it up on line - and she said we need to stimulate her if it happens again - somehow blood is being cut off and she needs help getting the blood flow to the arm or leg. What I am questioning, though, is it was all four extremities at the same time. And, it happened again yesterday and again this morning.

So, we have an appointment with her neonatologist specialist on Monday. Hopefully we can get more answers. We will also be following up with her still throwing up and irritability. We are getting mylicon today - hopefully that will help.

Here's Scarlet taking nap in her daddy's lap in the emergency room. Apparently all of the excitement was just too much for her. But she really liked riding in the big truck.
I tell ya, this motherhood thing isn't for the weak. And if I am suffering from "NMS," so be it! I'd rather have that diagnosis (even though I was told to call 911 and didn't panic) than not do anything and regret it later. But, we're ok now, Grandma!

Dodged Another Bullet

Scarlet is doing fine, but has sure given us a scare! This last week, we have noticed she was having painful bowel movements - I mean, we would change her diaper and she would scream bloody murder while seemingly holding it in - only little squirts would come out! I also started noticing that she was throwing up every time we gave her her medicine that they started her on in NICU and we had to continue at home. It is called reglin and it is for reflux - when the baby can't keep down her food and needs to be at a constant inclince, which she is. So, we called her doctor and she said it sounds like she is having a reaction to the reglin - stop giving it to her. Then, two nights ago, we called the advice line because we went through another bloody murder screaming episode changing her diaper while she let out squirts and then she had some projectile vomiting (all down mommy's shirt) three times. They said bring her in.

Naturally, I began sobbing while packing her up into the car. I was scared to death they were going to admit her.

The doctor in pediatrics urgent care told us we needed to see a specialist the next day to check her intestinal track. After many phone calls Friday morning, trying to get the right appointments, we managed to get in. There were 2 tests she needed to have done - both of which sounded horrible with surgery as the course of action if they came out bad. We were at Kaiser for 5 hours on Friday and 7 hours (with an hour break) on Saturday. On Friday, they did an ultrasound. They were looking to see if the muscle at the end of her stomach was growing too thick - It's not; she's fine. This was a big sigh of relief because they would have admitted her immediately for surgery if she wasn't.

Then, Saturday, we had to feed her at 6:00am and then bring her in - They wanted her stomach to be empty by the time they started the test at 8:45/9:00am. We were scared she would be screaming her head off because of hunger, but at that point, she was ok.

I stayed in the x-ray room with her and helped hold her still while they took pictures. They then gave her a drink of barium and sugar water. The barium is a liquid that shows up on x-rays so they can see where it goes. This way, they know if her intestinal track is working ok. I wish I had the sense of mind to take pictures myself earlier because we could literally see they stuff going into her mouth, down her throat, in through her stomach, and all the way through the system. The first images were the best because you could see her jaw and throat, but I at least got the 2 below.

She's screaming her because it is towards the end of the day and she was very hungry. We were able to feed her after the barium drink, whenever we wanted. However, it wore her out so much that she kept sleeping. She only really woke up when we put her on the x-ray table at 3:45pm (Mind you, we started at 8:30am - We are all very tired!).
This is why it took so long - This is the last picture the doctor was looking for - to see that it passed through her colon, and it did (Again, another sigh of relief - she's ok, otherwise they would have immediately admitted her for surgery):
This is more of a frontal view of her tummy. The bright white is the barium in her large intestines.
This is right after the last x-ray pictures - Now that she was really awake, she was starving!
And her she is on our way out to the car - she can now hold the pacifier herself.

So, the results? She is totally fine (from what we have been told so far.) She has NO reflux - like they told us in NICU and even sent her home with drugs for... but never tested. What the doctor who did the exam thinks is we need to feed her less quantity more often. Her stomach is stretching to take in a lot of food, but she is taking a long time to digest it and can't handle large amounts. She also has a lot of gas (and I know I have something to do with it - no more broccoli!) Plus, she had a diaper rash, which has mostly cleared after using desitin. With preemies, the skin is super senstive. So, we can't use diaper wipes (even though they are much more convenient). We have to use cotton or toilet paper and water - and now desitin. We will get more information next week from her doctor. Until then, she's overeating, has bad gas, and has a diaper rash. Oye!

Are you seeing two of Scarlet?

Ok - I just had to show you these! In my 16th week of pregnancy, Len and I went on a tour of England and Scotland and met this couple from Utah who were also in their 16th week of pregnancy. She was a red-head, and a dancer, and we hit it off right away. She was carrying twins. She has her own long story about a rough pregnancy - including being hospitalized for about two months because she started to have preterm labor, but they were able to stop it and the babies were born at week 36.

When I opened her blog today, I saw these recent pictures and thought - "Wow! They look like Scarlet!" I even asked Len if he wanted to drive out to Utah to visit them - just so we can get a picture of the three of them together. So, they are the same age as Scarlet, gestationally - AND the same weight. It's amazing the people you can meet half way around the world! If you want to check out their blog, click on the link "Molly and Alex."

Scarlet Rose - A Newborn

We've come a long way, baby! Scarlet Rose has reached her duedate! She is now 9 weeks old from her birthdate, July 9th and a newborn at her corrected age.

She weighed in yesterday at 6lbs 1 oz! Way to go Scarlet! (and mommy had something to do with it too!)

So many people still comment how small she is. She is very small - and I know she will never be this small again. In fact, she is the smallest in our Parenting Preemies group. However, I wanted to post this old picture to show a difference in her growth...

Here she is in the hospital. Notice all of the wires? Gosh, I can't believe that so much of the time I was in NICU, I mentally blocked them out. Now, when I look at these pictures I see them so clearly. See her ribs? She was 3lbs, 3oz at birth...
and her she is today - (no more ribs) 6lbs, 1oz (or more)!

and her she is saying, "What? You thought I couldn't plump up? Watch me - I'll grow some more before your very eyes!"
and here is her favorite place in the whole world - on her tummy in someone's, anyone's arms...
So, we got what we wished for. Just yesterday, we were telling our Parenting Preemies group how we were frustrated and confused by the fact that she doesn't really cry. Especially when she is waking up to eat. She grunts a heck of a lot - but she could grunt for hours and not be hungry. We used to get her up because she was grunting - and we thought she was hungry - only to spend an hour or more trying to coax her awake to eat. So, we wanted the baby signal - cry, please.

Oh boy! Just yesterday we were wanting this... and today... well, she must have heard us because she has cried for every feeding... A cry that sounds like she hasn't been fed in days. I want to close all of the windows so the neighbors don't think we have abandoned her. We have not left her alone - I promise... she cries very loudly now, especially when we are trying to change her diaper before a feeding and she kicks the new clean diaper away while continue to poop and pee all over everything. Sometimes we go through 3-5 diapers in one diaper change episode. Thank goodness she got Daddy a bunch of diapers for his birthday!

But, she is precious and we love her!

The Grandparents

I feel so incredibly lucky to have so much family and support around us. We do not have a shortage of arms that want to hold Scarlet. When we were planning a trip to Grandma's house for Len's birthday, I thought, "Should I bring her basinet?" No! She was hardly ever put down! I am truly greatful that she is here, with us, and very much loved. Here are her two grandmothers sharing her - Grandma Helen (Len's mom) on the left and Grandma Linda (my mom) on the right.


Here is GrandBud (Len's dad),
and here is Grandpa Frank (my dad).

Great Grandmothers

Scarlet finally got to meet both of her Great Grandmothers. Here is Great Grandma Elizabeth (my dad's mom)...


and here is Great Grandma Ruth (Len's mom's mom).

Happy Duedate, Scarlet! Happy Birthday, Len!

September 6th finally came! Scarlet's due date and Len's birthdate. She is now a "newborn," as opposed to"negative 2 weeks," or whatever. About a week after she arrived home, I asked Len what he wanted for his birthday and he said, "Diapers!" I suppose having a baby really does change life. So, for his birthday, Scarlet Rose got her Daddy a rather generous supply of diapers. She's not quite sure why he needs them so badly, since she likes to kick them away while we are changing her and then pee and poop all over the changing table and us... But, she got them anyways - along with a card!

So, here she is, excited about the big day - Daddy's birthday and her due date! Grandma Linda got her a party dress for the big occasion. She actually went to Michaels and bought a teddy bear's outfit! It fits perfectly!

Sorry about the sideways - I still can't figure out how to turn these pictures. I should stop taking them this way! But, here he is - look at all those candles he had to blow out!

The newest family picture. Happy birthday to Len, Happy duedate to Scarlet!

Scarlet on the Go

These last two days have been very busy for Scarlet.

Yesterday, the three of us went to our first meeting of Parenting Preemies. This is an organization that is free for parents with preemies. It is a 10 week class/support group - and it is just what the doctor ordered for us at just the right time. It is associated with San Antonio Hospital - and run by a NICU RN. We brought Scarlet with us and met other preemie babies and parents. There were about 6 other families with all different experiences. I will be honest - I am overwhelmed by the fact that Scarlet is the youngest and smallest of the group. It made me realize just how much more hard work lies ahead for us.

Up until this point, my major concern has been making sure she stays healthy - because God forbid, I don't want her returning to the hosptial. This is why we have taken the idea of 2 month seclusion and staying away from kids so seriously. However, meeting other preemies - and seeing them - made me realize the next major concern for Scarlet is that she develops and grows. She will be behind her peers. Even though she is two months old now (almost), she is still supposed to be in the womb. She is still "negative one week," as Len would say. She is still acting like a newborn. And she will act like a newborn for another month or so. The moms there say they don't tell people their babies real age - they tell them their "corrected age," the age they would be if they were born on their due date. So, in a month from now - even though it will be 3 months from her birth, Scarlet's corrected age will be 1 month - and we need to make sure she is developed as a 1 month old.

To help us with this, we have the Parenting Preemies group for emotional and educational support. Scarlet has also qualified for a program called Early Start. In a few weeks, there will be someone who will come out to our home and assess what we have and are doing for Scarlet's development and then help us with playtime and games to encourage her to develop on target with her peers. This program, from my understanding, will stay with us for three years - until the time she is ready for preschool and she will be caught up completely by then (Although, Scarlet's doctor says she should be caught up within 9 months to a year.) We also have the fact that she is categorized as a high risk baby for a year and will receive more checkups and help through Kaiser.

Today, in fact, Scarlet went to her eye doctor's appointment. Now, when I was a baby, I had strabisnis and needed surgery at 7 months. I hadn't fully appreciated the pain my parents went through to watch me go through that until today. They had to dilate her eyes (3 different drops, 3 different times). Then the offered for me to leave the room - I stayed. They held her down, pried her eyes open, put a brite light in them - and I don't know what else - to check her retnas. Apparently, all babies who are born prior to 32 weeks are in danger of having underdeveloped retnas. Scarlet is developing just fine, but we have to go back again in 3 weeks. Knowing that they will do this again, I am sure, will be harder. Oh well, at least she is doing well - and she handled it very well. She feel asleep (after screaming her head off) as soon as they let her go. They said she was the best baby they have ever had. Good for you, Scarlet! All that NICU training has paid off - You know how to handle stress!

Tomorrow, we will go to my first meeting with the post pardum depression support group(yes, I have been diagnosed with this - but many, including the doctor, say it is no wonder that I do have this - it is manifesting itself more in fear, worry, and anxiety - and not wanting to stop). Since the diagnosis over a week ago, I have been more acutely aware of how little sleep I was getting and both Len and I have made an effort for me to get more. The group, I am sure will offer more concrete advice for us.

Then we will stay for the breastfeeding clinic and see how she does this week. She has been going through a growth spurt - eating every hour or two, and eating alot. In fact, Daddy just fed her 90 cc's - that's 3 ounces! Not bad for a "newborn."

We did weigh her yesterday - 5 lbs, 8 1/2 oz!

By the way - thanks everyone for still reading and keeping up with us. I enjoy seeing your comments and when I talk to you, I like that you are already updated. So, thank you for still being right by our side. I truly appreciate all of you.